today at work a little girl and her dad came through my line and she picked up two things of altoids and she was like “daddy let’s get the same flavor! so when you’re in afghanistan i can eat mine and you can eat yours and we can be together!” and me and my cashier just stood there like DON’T CRY DON’T FUCKING CRY DON’T BE A BABY AND FUCKING CRY
and then they left and we fucking wailed like children
do you think that when fred and george started hogwarts all the teachers were like “ahh more weasleys. lovely. their brothers were such good students i’m sure they’ll be just the same.” and then the twins walked into their first class and just SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS
sure everyone says theyre excited about ‘spirit week’ but the minute i awaken a few ancient spirits and raise the dead suddenly im a ‘witch’ and ‘ruining homecoming’
you may be wondering why i type so informally. well, you see i am 5 centimeters tall and i have to hop from key to key. it’s adorable.